Hey Essy
I don’t know If I am surpost to contact you on this address but i thought I’d try.
I was with my ex for nearly 3 happy years until may of this year when he broke up with me becuase he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
We were appart for 6 or so weeks until we got back together and we were happy again for about 3 or so months, until he broke up with me AGAIN in the begininng of October.
It was the same reason as the last but this time he added on that “He isn’t giving me the love that I deserve” – which was true because even though I know he cared everything else was more of a priority than us. This time i handled it better than the first, I did all the things that your article said and we are in friendly contact with eachother.
I adore him and despite all that has happened this year and all the complications that was in our relationship to begin with, I still want him back ( as much as I hate to admit ).
But very resentley I found out, through him, that he is considering getting back into a relationship despite what he said 6 weeks ago. And I am guessing he means with someone other than me.
He talked rather fondly of this one girl he has met a little while ago even though he said the next time they spoke the conversation didn’t have much flow I am still worried.
You see, since he broke up with me because he didn’t want to be in a relationships I worked really hard to respect that. I thought I would have had much longer than just 6 weeks to either try and eventually win him back or come to terms with it and move on. I was doing so well and now its all come crashing down on me.
I know you can’t ALWAYS win back your ex but we had and still do have great chemistry. Im just worried that the guy for me could end up with someone else, We were so good together he knows that. Since we broke up I have been gratious and not at all needy or clingly, and I really thought he might consider giving us just one more go.
I hope you read this, you really sound like you have answers or at least words of kindness or advice to help me get through this.
I am 19 nealy 20 and this is my first real break up with someone who I loved, I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park but I never expected this kind of pain.
I hope you read this
Ellie x
Hey Ellie
Well done you for not being clingy and needy.
I don’t have a lot of time to talk, but 2 things:
1. If he does decide to get together with someone else, don’t despair. Even though it’ll be painful for you, if you are strong you can actually use it to your advantage, because he’ll constantly be assessing the relationship in terms of his relationship with you – and you’re hard to live up to 
So stay strong and it may just jolt him into realizing what he’s lost.
2. If you want to go a step further, you need to make him realize he can’t just come running back to you. You’ve got to give him the “gift” of realizing that he might lose you. Guys want what they can’t have. At the moment he might think that he can play around in another relationship and if it doesn’t work out he can come back to you. Let him know that that isn’t on the cards.
Have you looked into any of those Resources I talked about on my page? They are really applicable to you right now.
Stay strong Ellie,
Essy x
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Heya!! I was seeing this army guy for around about 6months, we got on really well meet up with him reguarly, texted and meet his mates etc went to afew clubs…
We had arguments before, and within days he’d ring or text back saying sorry etc..
Then he started acting up he wasn’t the same, he too said he had another girl on the side and was confused what to do?? I was shell shocked the guy i cared for, my first realtion was starting like this.
So we had a BIG massive argument, he said things i said things and we haven’t spoken in like 3 weeks within that time i did ring but no answer!! This can’t be good can it? I do REALLY miss him and the time we had, and he knows it because i told him enough times i loved him and he talks about me to his friends..
WHAT DO I DO? WAIT IT OUT.. I can’t move on without settling the dust
Me and my boyfriend broke up because I came clean and told him I had sexual relations with someone while we were broken up 7 months ago. He eventualy said he forgave me and we could be friends but he didn’t know exactly what he wanted because he can not trust me. All of a sudden he started acting weird and said he was confused again and that he needed space and time to think. And that if it was in Gods will we would be together again. I don’t know what to do. The last several months we’ve spent together (before I told him) were wonderful. I know he realizes that I made a mistake, and i’ve tried to be there for him as much as I possibly can and to be the best girlfriend I can but I don’t know what to do at this point. I know I made a mistake but I wouldn’t hurt him ever again. I send him little text here and there to show him I’m still here and that I love and care for him so much, but what should I do to get him back? Just give him space?
Thanks
Hello.
Okay, so I’m inlove with this kid and he says he loves me. We met through his now ex girlfriend which while they were going out he said he wanted to be with me and such. So they eventually broke up, but now everyonce and awhile he wont talk to me for like a week. And I know he’s there and has his phone because my friends will text him and he’ll answer. It makes me so upset to the point i’ll sometimes cry through out the week when he doesn’t talk to me. And he doesn’t believe that I love him. I want him to know that I do, and I mean every word I say to him and that I want to be with him and he shouldn’t worry about hurting me if we do date. But he says he knows we wont last long. How can I make him go out with me? Well not force him , but make him know that we’ll be fine. Please help.
hey, thank you sooo much for this article, gave me some great idea, but i was wondering if you could help me in my sitiuation, so i meet this guy online and we talked a lot and went on a few dates, it was amazing, i really like him and he really like me but right after our last date he said “i want to feel like im not tied down” “i don’t want a relationship” and i just don’t understand why we went on dates if he has no intention of dating me, also he does keep in contact with me, but i think its out of guilt cuz he knows how miserable i am and probably just feels bad but im trying to limit contact but what else is there to do, i really like this guy and wanna date him but how can i get him to want to date me
Hi Essy,
I’m very thankful that there’s a person like you who is helping us girls from a painful break-up. I know you don’t make replies to comment anymore, but I was wondering if you could help me. I would be grateful if you talk with me in email which I have provided. I’d be much appreciated. I’m just not comfortable writing it all down here.
Thanks
Heyo Essy!
Deal here is that I dated a guy for like 4-5 months and then he broke up with me. I wasn’t really devestated but I wasn’t exactly clear on why he did. Some religous thing I asure you…I took care of that and then we stayed broken up for like 4 days then we got back together. Then he broke up with me again 1-2 weeks after that saying that he felt nothing anymore and that he didn’t want a girlfriend right now. Well, I was for sure he’d come back so I let him know I was okay with it. But then a week passed and I started to realize that I had seriously fallen for this guy, I mean I couldn’t eat, sleep, all I would think about was him. And so I confronted him on why and he said he still loved me but it was too much for him to handle right now. And so I lasted like 4 days and then I caved. I kinda let him know I was still for him . And he basically is all parinoid cuz he is scared of hurting me again. And he told me he doesn’t want to get back together but he doesn’t want to forget it ever happened. But he likes another girl who just got out of a toxic relationship. Basically I want him back so bad….I don’t know what else to do. He ignores me, he never lets me know he has to leave or anything when we talk. I feel like crap….but see what’s so weird is the Saturday, the day before he broke up with me, he was telling me how much he loved me and then Sunday he was telling me how he feels nothing…..
I just need him back.
Thanks
Hi..
im 15 years old and my boyfriend and i have been fighting.. he says he feels like he cant trust me.. we got in a fight and i said some stupid things and it ended with me breaking up with him.. the next day (our 5 month) we got back together.. and my boyfriend has really strict parents who dont like me that much.. so he cant hang out with me with out his brother there.. but we’ve been sneaking around to see eachother.. and we got caught.. his parents took away his phone and running priverageles (he run cross country) and he was being weird ever since..
4 days after we got back together he said he thinks we need a break.. because its summer.. and that i should just go have fun at camp.. (i wont be able to talk to him all of camp and there are always cute boys, he thinks something is going to happen, but i swear to him nothing will because i love him and only him..) and he said we shouldnt have to worry about eachother..
so i didnt start looking into guides intil today.. (5 days after the breakup) and ive been talking to him ever since he dumped me.. and my friends have talked to him and now its just a mess.. i realize now that i was being cling.. and i told him how much i missed him and stuff.. ive been trying to distract myself but its just not working.. and i want him back so bad! like more than anything.. what should i do?
Kayla..
Heya, me and my ex had been together for 6 months and he broke up with me last Tuesday out of blue with his cousin there…I am friend with him on facebook…I havent contact him for a while and when I havent…he started converstation with me or find a way to start the converstation. I’m trying to get him miss me and miss all of my texts and call. Im not to sure if to remove him off facebook to get him wonder whats going on with me or anything…or not to remove him so he won’t think I’m ignoring him/forgetting him. Silly thing is that I have told him that I’m sorry and I’ve realise what I’ve done and give a last chance or meet him and he said yeah I could suppose we meet up and will see. I havent bugging him asking when he wanna meet up or whatever. I’m just waiting and it is killing me and making me wanting to call him…but I’m trying not to. So I dont know what to do…remove him or keep him on there and write stuffs on my wall to show that Im enjoying myself and having a good time. x
i just want to share my experience how i got my ex back and saved my marriage.. i was married for 10years with 3 kids and we lived a happy life.. until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments… it got heated that at a point, she filed for divorce.. i tried everything to get her back cos i loved her with all my heart and didnt want to loose her…she moved out of the house and left the kids..and then filed for divorce…i pleaded,and tried everything ..nothing worked..until someone introduced me to this wonderful spell caster who helped me out.. i never believed in those things but just decided to try reluctantly…he did special prayers and used roots and herbs..within 3 days, she called me and was pleading..i didnt believe my ears..anyways we are happy together now and have a nice life.. the kids are happy..ive introduced him to a lot of couples with problems accross the world and they have had good news..i just want to share my experience.. incase anyone needs this man, you can email him on spellsforbetterlife at yahoo dot com….hope you get good news as well..wish you all the best…dont give up..save your marriage/relationship
I saw the video that had a link to this site and it was brilliant I dident need this advice but i thought it would come in handy with my friends and sister thanks for all the help it was very nice!
-TORI
So me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and we were long distance for the longest so this April he moved down here and says he loves me and for these 5 months we have been arguing and fighting and today it got real bad and he ajar he’s going to leave me I don’t treat him right what can I do for him to realize that’s a mistake
Ok I’ll try and be as brief as possible. My ex broke up with me three months ago due to an argument we had. We had been together for two years etc and even now he says he’ll never hate me he had the best two years of his life with me and was more bothered about me than anyone he’s ever met! He still loves me etc and we really did have a happy relationship . I have not followed the no contact rule. However we have had some valid reasons to be in contact, first I was ill and then we had some trouble from an unknown girl. However he defended me to the end against her, went to great lengths to tell her how much he cared about me blah blah. Anyway I’ve been contacting him way too much without valid reason. He has been patient and always says he’s fine about it but today for the first time he got a little annoyed about the texts. So I’ve not text him back he just said he was a annoyed that I was texting him for no reason while he was at work. Anyway I’ve now not text him back but what I really want to know is can I recover this? Have I done too much damage? If I do no contact for a while now is there still chance? I really hope there is and I know how much he still cares I think he ran because he was scared me and him were going to end up like him and his ex wife did!! Is there anything I can do or have I pushed too far that now he only has bad memories of me trying to change his mind rather than good memories of when we were together!! I’m worried he won’t remember the good times now x
Hi, I’m 19 years old. And me and my boyfriend been together 7 months,He was my 1st & my 1st love,I’ve had previous boyfriends but they just never led to anything. But, These past 3 months he has been acting very distance,and always with an attitude for some reason.but he’s been hitting on my best friend sister,and he know I’m affiliated with her at a reasonable point .I forgave him the 1st time …Like a dumb ass ,And he approached her again. He keeps denying it , But Believe Me I witnessed it and I broke up with him .It’s only been 2 days and I’m hurt and I miss him like hell what should I do???
Hey Essy, I hope you email me back with some advice. My ex boyfriend recently broke up with me, I was begging and pleading for him back, I then read your article. I’m going to have limited contact and be friends just like he said we should, but he’s already into some other girl. I asked him if they’d date, he said most likely not but that usually means yes. I don’t know what to do to make him miss me! He also promised we’d get back together, plus said it could take up to 4 years. I don’t want it to take that long, my heart breaks more each day we’re apart. I’ve got nothing left, just his phone number and his friendship. Please help!
Hi, I’ve been in a 5 year relationship and moved away for school. The last year of our relationship was a little rocky and I just wasn’t feeling the same way I did. I left him cause I didn’t feel like it was fair being with him without really loving him. I even started having feelings for someone else, even though I realized it was nothing later. He was hurt and tried to convince me not to leave at the beginning. After months past, I felt like I made a big mistake. I still wasn’t 100% sure but I really missed him. This time he was unsure about us. We kept going back and forth about wanting to try to make it work, but when he started having feelings for someone, I figured it was over and I stopped talking to him for 6-7 months. We started talking again and he apparently asked about me all to time during our time apart. He said he thought about me but the thought of being in a relationship wasn’t there cause he thought it was over for good. He told me nothing happened with the other girl and that he realized it was nothing. I saw him recently, we spent almost everyday together. I apologized for everything and I finally told him I loved him and that there was no one else. I asked him how he felt and he said he didn’t know, that broke my heart. He said he loved me, but doesn’t know how much anymore. He said he’s just not looking to be in a relationship right now. What should I do? I can’t stand the thought of losing him. How do I get him back? I’m scared that if I stop contacting him he’ll forget about me or try to move on like last time. I think I love him more than I ever did before, Please help.
Hi there,
i love my boyfriend so much. But he wanted to break up with me. He said that things won’t work with us. We have been for almost 4 years. i really want him back. Please help ,me.
Hi there,
My partner and I split up 4 months ago. We were together for 11 years. We were fine; hardly argued and have a son together. I really think he is the one. He left me, and 4 weeks later he told me he was back with his ex from before us. She had recently seperated from her husband and has 2 children of her own. I do think they got in touch after her split and he left me for her. I was devistated and am heart broken. I keep clinging onto the fact that we have a child together and he will come back to me. I don’t know what to do and am starting to lose faith. I just want him back with his family. Any advice would be great. I just don’t know what to do.
Many thanks
xx
Hey essy,im 20 and my boyfriends 19,and hes just broke up with me after 7 months,we had a argument then he said he’s not taking my moods anymore.I ovbiously done the needy thing which i regret.Then i stopped texting him then he text me something so pointless so i told him not to contact me and ive accepted its over.what should i do now,as i keep getting emotional and wanting to text him,help me please
Hi Essy,
My boyfriend just broke up with me like three days ago, we have been together for 5-6 months. But he said he was gonna be straight up and he said we most likely are going to get back together, and that he just needs his space and that he still loves me and that we were just on a break. But he wasn’t 100% positive we were going to get back together. I havent followed the no contact rule because we are long distance because he’s in school but i’m not the one doing the calling/texting, its all him. I’m not telling him i miss him or anything. He’s acting pretty much the same and even better than the last month of our relationship. It seems like he misses me. I just need some help on how to get him to really miss me and instantly want me back.